posting online, spoons + story

I have written and not published so many blog posts.
Seriously I think I have about 50 just in a folder on my laptop. 

Why haven't I posted them?

I think it stems from a post I did one time. 
It was simply meant for conversation, but many were not ready for that conversation. 
As a result, I ended up being forcefully told to take it down. 
It took me a while to even process what all happened.

Sometimes I feel like posting online is like stirring a glass that has sediment on the bottom. 

Almost everyone has stuff they haven't dealt with (the sediment) have just learned to let the crap go to the bottom. As a result their glass looks clear and clean, when in reality, the crap is still in there. 

I realized a long time ago, that I am a spoon. 

And that spoon is not always welcome. 

So, friends…. 
If you were to think about your life, what does your glass look like? 
Is it clear because you haven't dealt with the stuff that it hard? 
or is it clear because you were brave enough to mix it up, get dirty and deal with it? 

I am not sure we ever truly get to be fully clear, but I think every time we share about the reality we do have crap in our glass, they cleaner they become. 
There is a quote my Maya Angelou that I find compelling, 

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Our stories, our sediment is meant be be shared. What happens when we refuse to acknowledge it is that we become disillusioned. We focus on letting the sediment go deeper so no one will see it. 
We become isolated and alone. 
Our pursuit of appearing clean becomes our goal, rather than the reality that you (like everyone else) has dirt in your cup. 

In sharing story, we see that others have sediment too. 
In sharing story, you hear two of the most beautiful words, “me too”. 

Alone, we can not get our cups really clear. 
We need help. We need love. 

See when we are truly loved, it is like adding water to our glasses.  And by adding water, our cup is stirred. 

It gets dirty. 

But as more water is added, more love being poured in…. something happens. 
The dirty water is being replaced by fresh water.

“Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’ - Jesus

may you, 
let the love, 
the water, 
the acceptance of Christ flow in you. 

May you, 
realize that in every moment, 
you are surrounded by the ocean of Gods love. 

What is a little sediment to an ocean?

the story continues…